I have never truly sat down and thought of the things that make me happy. In an instance a certain thing can make me happy but I have never sat down and made a list of things that make me happy. So I feel like today was the day to do so. I will probably miss some things here and there but that’s okay.
I know for sure babies make me happy. I do not have any children of my own but babies are such a blessing and I can’t wait to have my own someday.
sleeping until I wake up. I have been working a lot recently and I have had to wake up at a horrendously early time of day so being able to sleep is one of my favorites.
Being low maintenance. I haven’t always been low maintenance but I am in the process of becoming low maintenance and I’m interested into the idea of minimalism. I used to do my hair and makeup every day. I hated it. I used to put so much time thought and effort into my appearance because I wanted to fit in or impress a boy that didn’t even know I existed. It didn’t hit me until recently that it honestly doesn’t matter. Now this doesn’t give me the go ahead to dress like a complete slob. I do like to look put together. I hate going out in public in sweats or leggings but on a day to day basis I prefer a comfy tshirt and jeans or some shorts. No one is going to care if I put together some basic white girl outfit. So I’m going to dress in what makes me feel comfortable. Screw being basic. I’m also sick of makeup, I haven’t worn it in months. I recently did just buy a tinted moisturizer I will wear on occasion but only if I’m going to something nice or feel like I need an extra spring in my step though. Over the last couple months I’ve grown very comfortable in my own skin and realized that this is my natural state and I need to except it for how it is. Not wearing makeup makes me happy and I am going to do what makes me happy. Now I do like doing my hair. Some days I feel all girly and curl my hair and it makes me feel happy but the majority of the time I’m very content with my natural straight hair.
Food also makes me very happy. I recently tried “getting in shape” I was sad and lonely and thought if I had a nice body guys would pay attention to me. Well that was a huge mistake. I was taking in less calories than I was burning in a day and I was constantly hungry and unhappy. I did control my impulsive eating out though so I am happy about that. I don’t eat out nearly as much as I did and I did lose 10 pounds but I’d rather lose weight the healthy way. I also want to lose weight on my terms and not just to get a guy’s attention. If a guy likes me he’ll like me for me no matter what shape I am or whether my face is flawless or covered in acne. I want whatever guy I end up being with to like me for my natural state and who I am without wearing a cute outfit, having winged eyeliner or whatever. I’m done trying to do things to make others happy or to fit in with other girls. I’m going to do what I want and what makes me happy. I need to start following my own wants and needs and listen to my body and heart instead of having others’ interests in mind. It’s my life so I only have to worry about making others happy. I just have to worry about myself.
You also just have to be happy within yourself. Don’t get me wrong. I am very lonely at times and would like the company of a guy but I don’t need a guy to make me happy. I have to make myself happy. I don’t need to have someone by my side supporting me and patting me on the back to get the things I want in my life, if I try my best and push myself I can get these things on my own without anyone’s help. I felt such a huge mood shift when I became single, I feel like I can open up to people more and be more myself without having the weight of an unhealthy relationship on my shoulders, I truly enjoy being single and focusing on myself. I just get really lonely at times and wish I had someone to talk to. Hell if I had someone to talk to I wouldn’t be documenting all of this stuff right now. Maybe it’s good to keep all these thoughts all on record though.